Richard Simmons where are you?

Some time ago back when the sun was shining and I wasn't wearing this god awful blue sheet I had a very horrible experience with a man with plastic hands. He seemed nice enough at first. I allowed him to pet my neck and he attempted to win me over with a apple. I was not sure why my person brought him to the barn but he was nice enough so fine. The proceeding events are too awful to even think about. It would be un lady like of me to indulge you with the gory details. To better understand the following events after this day lets just say they involved strange devices held by the plastic handed man and a lip chain. If you think one day was bad of this try 5. He came back over and over doing the same thing to me. Though he was nice and gave me treats every time I took them only for my own gratification, not for his...evil evil man.
Now I have been around enough to know that this was some kind of new high tech medical procedure. I had seen this plastic handed man around the barn before when some of the horses had been ill or in pain. However I was confused. I was not ill, i was not in pain so what was he doing.

He has not come back since, thank goodness. I still do not know what he was doing. There has been a new man coming around ever so often. He is extremely nice and knows exactly where my blue sheet rubs my back and makes it itchy. He doesn’t do anything, just pets me and talks to my person. I do get fearful that I may have that lip chain experience again, but so far not. I think he needs to come though. I have not been feeling well at all for the last few weeks. I can tell that I have gained an enormous about of weight. I have been trying to cut back on my food, even though my person keeps giving me more. Doesn’t' she understand that a mare like me needs to stay in optimum shape, its expected. My stomach is growing more and more every day. I am so mad at it. I kick it and bite it constantly but nothing changes. I have been feeling sleepy a lot lately to. I guess I just need by beauty sleep.

Ahhhh...I have figured it out

Over many days of standing peacefully in my pasture contemplating on why know one understands my theory and understanding of the world I came to this realization. Due to the fact that my person keeps me in this small confined box, that let me quickly add is absolutely horrendously grotesque and is better suited for pigs, I am unable to reach the vast audience that is well deserved of my teachings and philosophy. Then it came to me….telepathy. I have found that there are moments within a day where my person is doing nothing more then endlessly clicking on that light box thing that contains images of tiny horses and boring words. I noticed one day that she does not use this light box thing alone, for other horses persons look at this too. I also soon came to realize that some of the horses I occasionally mingle with generally agree with their person and follow them like cowards. Maybe my teachings are going upon deaf ears with them and it’s really the persons I should be working on. So while my person is unfocused at what she is really suppose to be doing I found that I can temporarily tap into her weak primitive mind and have her display my teachings on her light box to display to all the other horse persons in the world.